Looking Glass for Arqaam NFT Exhibition

In early 2021 I was invited by Wizara, a blockchain-based platform for Asian, African and Arab artists and the diaspora, to create a series for their inaugural NFT exhibition titled, “Arqaam.”  I created “Looking Glass,” a series of three 10-second video loops exploring the ways in which we perceive ourselves through screens that feel like they are reflecting back a distorted reality.

I first heard the term “body dysmorphia disorder” (BDD) in relation to gender identity and gender dysmorphia. It seemed to perfectly describe a feeling that I couldn’t quite place. A feeling of disconnect between who I feel and the person I see in front of the mirror. Obsessing over characteristics I perceive as flaws and wondering what other people think. Seeing myself in a photo or video never quite aligned with the way I saw myself. While I don’t think I can self-diagnose as having BDD, I can’t deny I have almost always felt these things in some way and they seem exaggerated and most noticeable now in a time when most of my social encounters are online.

We constantly curate versions of ourselves we wish to portray to the world. Screens upon screens reflecting back a distorted reality. Filters added to every image because the anxiety over imperfection is just too great. In the U.S. alone the journal of Facial Plastic Surgery & Aesthetic Medicine reported that “85% of patients looking for cosmetic changes were motivated because of video conferencing.” “Zoom dysmorphia” sits alongside “zoom fatigue.”